O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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