I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
