Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
