all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
