just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
