college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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