Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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