I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
