problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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