Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
