Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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