They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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