Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
