The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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