i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
