you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
