Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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