I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't put those talents on a resume
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
