@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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