you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
