I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
