How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
