THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
