Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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