i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize