You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
