You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
