Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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