Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
