party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
babies were throwing up all over the place
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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