they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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