She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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