K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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