do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I touched a dick in church today
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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