We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize