i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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