why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
