you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
