Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
