I'm eating all of the evidence.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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