Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
