Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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