I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
