I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
