That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just high enough for therapy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
