hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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