i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
