I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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