When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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