Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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