im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize