Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
