hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
