No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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