I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
