she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
soo... how was my night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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