I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
