from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Drake has all the answers
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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