I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize